'Fun Facts' about Rutger Hauer

by zaggans


RUTGER HAUER did not discover the wheel. He invented the concept of a circle.

THE HITCHER was not originally titled "The Hitcher." The Original title, "How Rutger Hauer spent his summer vacation," was axed for two disturbing reasons. It did not take place during the summer and it is a documentary.

God Complex is not a term for a delusional person. It is the technical term for Rutger Hauer's place of residence.

Lincoln was not assassinated. Rutger Hauer was angered by his top hat, and merely punched through his skull. John Wilkes Booth ran because there was so much blood.

Rutger Hauer and Chuck Norris once encountered each other at a phone booth. Just kidding. This did not happen. Had it actually happened, I could not tell you about it, because existence would cease to be.

The word "ARMAGEDDON" was coined when Rutger Hauer could not make change for the morning paper.

A man once bumped into Rutger Hauer and did not apologize. The mob was later blamed for Jimmy Hoffa's disappearance.

Rutger Hauer can give birth. When you're responsible for 6 billion deaths, you must reproduce more killing fodder.

The material used to make football helmets? Rutger Hauer bone marrow.

The Great Wall of China was built to protect the people of China from Rutger Hauer, for whom he has a disturbing affinity for killing.

The inventor of the phrase, "Hour of Power" was found decapitated with a note shoved into his mouth reading, "That's the HAUER of power!" Webster's was contacted immediately.

Rutger Hauer's mother corrected him once.

Jack the Ripper once encountered Rutger Hauer in a dark alley. The thought of killing whores after that caused him to convulse violently, and so he disappeared off the face of the planet.

You call it mass murder. Rutger Hauer calls it stretching.

Rutger Hauer has no reflection in a mirror. He is not a vampire, but rather that no reflective surface can encompass all that is known as the HAUER.

Rutger Hauer has no children. He deemed them too weak by Hauer standards, and therefore punted them into outer space.

A massive structure was built to house every dangerous aspect of Rutger Hauer. You and I know this structure as prison.

Superman was killed by doomsday, but do not for a second think that he was not weakened to the point of death by Rutger Hauer.

Rutger Hauer is immortal. He would break Heaven and Hell if he was allowed to enter either.



When I found these 'Fun Facts' about Rutger Hauer - I just had to add them to the Website - they gave me a good laugh - I hope you will enjoy reading them as well and not be offended.